Half a Father’s Day

It’s hard sometimes.

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Hello friends – AJ’s in a cabin this week in a painful paradise of confronting one’s life and putting it on paper. From what I understand, that’s what cabins are for. If you’re interested in more of my work, it’s here, and AJ will be back next week. —Ben Gaffaney

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I’m the non-custodial parent of a seven-year-old (J), with alternating weekends and one weeknight per week. His mom has been with her partner for most of those years, and he often drops off and picks up, based on the signatures on various iPads and assignment sheets. I’ve gotten used to J referring me by the partner’s name and I don’t flinch; I just wait till he corrects himself. It’s hard sometimes.

J’s mom and her partner are good people, and I don’t have any fears about them treating J badly. I don’t wish for J to have fewer people to love him. It would be unusual for my ex-wife to not be in a serious relationship after so many years — all these are rationalizations that I happen to believe. I laid them all out to my therapist, and she got right to the point, asking, “Do you ever feel like less than a whole father?”