As I mentioned in Sunday’s letter, I bought a four-pack of cheap boxer shorts specifically to sleep in. I’m trying to break that habit of sleeping in my clothes so I figured if I have a sleep outfit that isn’t too difficult to get into before 8 p.m., it’ll help me wind down. Saturday night was the only night I stayed up late — I watched half “The Smashing Machine” then I went to sleep. (I don’t know why there was such a tepid response to it, I thought it was entertaining and weird in the right way.) Also I did some tea — Honey Lavender Stress Reducer. Plus, magnesium is great. And I went back to BJJ, walked a ton — all the things that need to be done to ensure a decent night’s sleep and I’d say I succeeded 5 out of the 7 nights last week. So thanks to all who submitted and offered me some great advice. Also — here’s another email from a satisfied reader:
This is such a good topic! I am so struggling with sleep right now — can't wait to read the next one. I haven't been keeping up on email at all because law school is kicking my ass, but the subject line on this one hooked me. Glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with sleep. I need to change my mindset — any time I think about trying to get to bed early, my mind says something like, "You're not in third grade! You can stay up until 4 a.m. if you want to." And then I'm doomed.
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Just One Night at a Time
By The Small Bow Family Orchestra
*****
“Whenever possible, I try to move unfinished tasks to the next day rather than working through the night (even if my brain operates better then).”
My twenties were spent doomscrolling during the Peak Twitter years, barely staying afloat in my media career, and using copious amounts of alcohol to dilute my brain’s rather potent mix of unmedicated ADHD and (at the time) undiagnosed OCD. You can imagine how well I slept.
I haven’t discovered the perfect sleep routine at 31, just some broad guidelines that mostly revolve around what I need to do well before bedtime. These work for me (night owl, sober, engaged, no kids, works a remote job in marketing) your mileage may vary:
Bedtime: Same every day, weekends and holidays too. My alarm goes off at 9 a.m. I’m in bed by 1 a.m., unless I'm out late with friends (doesn’t happen too often) or the cat decides it’s time for a late-night hairball.
Phone: Outside the bedroom at night. My e-reader is my alarm. Ariana Huffington had a point.
Caffeine: My Vyvanse prescription forced me to cut back to just one coffee a day (down from 2-4). I don’t crash hard and, therefore, don't need to play catch-up every night because I was zonked all afternoon.
Work: Whenever possible, I try and move unfinished tasks to the next day rather than working through the night (even if my brain operates better then). This is, as someone with people-pleasing tendencies, extremely hard sometimes. It’s worth the effort.
Before-bed enrichment: I can’t tackle serious literature before bed, but I can’t sit around waiting to fall asleep. My current go-to is cleaning down my kitchen to the audiobook of Piketty’s Capital in the Twenty-First Century.
Exercise: The easiest nights for me to fall asleep are after long rides or long runs, even if I finish at noon. A moderately long walk can even make a difference.
Screens/Online: Off an hour or so before bed. This is the hardest principle for me to stick to. Steam has been scrubbed from my computer too many times to count.
There’s no magic system, at least in my experience. It’s also not something I’ve aced. Still, I don’t sleep like I did in my twenties, and I'm forever grateful for that.
*****
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