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Ben's avatar

I used to live around the corner from Perry street, on Ludlow btw. 7th Ave and Hudson. This was years 1 and 2 of my sobriety (early 90s.) I was a regular. I learned to arrive early and drop my keys on a seat and then smoke outside. One time a drunk passed out on my shoulder. I let him. Another time cops busted in and arrested this guy. We all stood around afterwards looking stupid at each other like; what do we do now? Then this old timer, a toothless wizard of the street in a battered straw hat shouted, nothing stops an AA meeting! So we just got back to sharing. His name in the meeting was Stan the Hat.

That tiny stage with the little desk and chair where the chair/speaker sat was like an alter to me. I passed through some dark times in there, sitting through my ambivalence about AA, my writhing wounded ego, my horny obsession with any pretty girl who walked in, my agonizing contempt for speakers who drove me crazy.

Many years later, around my 30th anniversary, I went back and was amazed to see the place looked exactly the same. They needed a speaker so I spoke, and shared about how meaningful the place was to me. I shared bits and pieces of my story, and tried to and on an uplifting note. No one raised their hand to share for a bit and I had that familiar “they know I’m a big phony” thought flit through my mind. And then they did. And it was the same jazz set of awkward revelation it always is.

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Andrew Devlin's avatar

Congratulations on another year of freedom from the substances that bind us to misery!

As far as God goes, I have always believed but there were times in my life when I didn’t follow. On one of my anniversary's of being clean and sober, I looked back on my life and wrote about how often I survived when I should not have. I firmly believe it was the hand of God that saved me. Even in sobriety, I have had many occasions when I believe God was in charge, not me, the most recent when a series of coincidences placed me right behind a head on collision where I held a bleeding woman’s hand and prayed with her while awaiting EMT.

Have a great and blessed day!

If you are interested, the essay I wrote can be found here ➡️ https://open.substack.com/pub/andrewdevlin/p/is-there-a-god-updated?r=ugzy3&utm_medium=ios

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Megan's avatar

Thank you for creating this space.

In Tarot, nines can represent a stage of culmination and/or nearing completion of a cycle…while also hinting at the need for reflection and preparation for what's next.

Happy birthday, man!

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Sober Herbalist's avatar

Omg- 9 was hard and life changing. I wish you continued spiritual jewels 🎂HBD🍪

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Ben's avatar

Oh yeah and - way to go. You’re a miracle. 🎉🩷🎉🩷

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Erin's avatar

Proud of you. Keep coming back.

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Maegan E. Ortiz's avatar

Happy Birthday!

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Casey O'Brien's avatar

Three thousand, two hundred and eighty five days...one day at a time. God is good! 🙏

Happy Birthday! 🥳

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

good work man

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Danielle West's avatar

Congrats AJ! And thank you for all you do!

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Michael P. Macocco's avatar

Congratulations and keep coming back! Your sobriety date is one day after my birthday!

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Lee's avatar

Happy sobriety day! Grateful for you and this space you’ve created.

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The Sweaty Generalist's avatar

Congratulations, I'm very happy for you. I love Pema Chodron. "When things fall apart" helped me during a dark time.

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Jill Rothenberg's avatar

Congrats. 🎊 🙏

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Alec Leach's avatar

congrats AJ!

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Shelley Evans's avatar

My 9 years was July 18 and it was by chance that I read your lovely post ! It’s wonderful to be grateful isn’t it! Thanks and I’ll celebrate yearly along with you! Congrats!

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