To commemorate our 7th anniversary and Recovery Month, we are offering a 20% discount on all annual subscriptions throughout September.

If our newsletter has helped you feel less wicked and alone, less shitty or afraid, then please consider financially supporting us. Subscribers gain access to the entire archive, the Sunday essay, the complete recommendations roundup, and the comprehensive rundown of my weekly recovery program.

If you’d like to become a paid subscriber but can’t afford it at this time, email me: [email protected] and I’ll hook you up.

Clear eyes, full hearts, etc. — AJD

Here’s an email a reader sent to us a few weeks ago:

“I would love to see a ‘What It’s Like to Be Addicted to Marijuana.’

I think, similar to gambling (maybe?), the expansion of the legality of weed is changing things with much more prevalent problematic use. But the cultural shrug of "it's just weed" is still conventional wisdom. Pot addicts (and the people who love them) need to know they're not alone! Thanks for considering. TSB is precious to me.”

This is somewhat of an annual request, and I’ve always ignored it because I wanted to stay on the side that weed is, in many ways, one of the “good drugs” that helps people with depression, anxiety, and chronic pain. Plus: it’s less deadly than booze. Plus: It’s just weed!

But many people struggle with it in all the ways that people struggle with the more lethal drugs. (Mar-Anon has plenty of full rooms.) Quitting weed is a terrifying prospect for many, including hundreds of TSB readers who’ve either shared about it in an email, a check-in, or one of our meetings.

Now we’d like to hear more from you: What’s your relationship to weed right now? Do you want to stop, but can’t?

All contributors will remain extremely anonymous.

Please keep contributions to under 500 words.

Send your stories here: [email protected]

Subject: WEED STORY

Anyone who submits gets three free months of TSB Sundays.

And below, I asked a friend of mine to submit our first check-in, hopeful that some TSB-ers could relate. —AJD

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by Anonymous

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Hi it's me! Your friendly neighborhood high-functioning pothead in a state where weed has been legalized and so mainstreamed that you can buy THC drinks even at places that aren't dispensaries or liquor stores.

Recognizing that cannabis is truly addictive—and can be downright brutal to get sober from (I’ve heard about withdrawal symptoms like irritability, sleep issues, bathroom issues, weird menstrual cycles) has actually been helpful to me. It doesn't make the addiction bit easier, but thanks to places like TSB and r/leaves, I recognize that the addiction is not just a moral failing or weakness. Just because other people use it casually with no issues doesn't mean that I personally suck for having issues with moderation.

I don't know what the ideal solution regarding legalization should be. Part of me misses the thrill of the hunt, the "you get what you get" of it all. I think a lot of greedy capitalist bad actors are involved in the industry. Seeing a video of big batches of white THC powder being processed is a bit of a bummer compared to the smell of a nice little kind bud. As an addict, I wish it weren't so damn accessible. But I would rather tolerate this than see people, especially marginalized people, locked up over weed.

In an ideal world, I'd be completely sober, with extra time on my hands, a clearer head, and wealth from all the money I've saved. Lately, I'm taking a 10mg gummy a day, which is not abstinence, but better than smoking several pre-rolls or innumerable bowls per day (Those were my prior habits. I do love the smell of it and the instant gratification of puffing.)

Weed does help my perimenopause symptoms. But it also worries me about my long-term brain functioning. I always know it's time to cut back when stoned me starts becoming synonymous with depressed and withdrawn me. I think someday I am going to have to come clean, when my kids are older, about this journey so that they know, if/when they experiment on their own, that these tortured feelings and difficulty weaning are in their genes.

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Your turn: [email protected]

Subject: WEED STORY

MORE IN THIS SERIES:

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NEW TSB PODCAST EPISODE: On trauma, EMDR, poetry, and forgiveness.

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