“The truth is, I have worked hard to not dislike myself so much, but I still worry, sometimes in an acute, frightened, little-kid way, about being too weird and maybe even scary.”
Fear
+3
“I felt on-edge most of the time, but especially in cars. I was waiting for the next loud noise to rearrange everything.”
“Do you know what your son is spending money on? COCAINE!”
+5
Amanda Hess. Parenthood. Sinéad O'Connor. New tunes.
And you know what, that’s just fine!
New year/new shit. Anthony De Mello. Wendell Berry, new tunes.
Every irrational one that lived in my head in 2024.
+2
More man stuff. BJJ. Marcus Aurelius. New poem, new tunes.
Learning how to live full in the catastrophe. Peaceful John. New tunes. And Pema, always Pema.
+1
On Personal Inventories. Marc Maron. Anger and the Stoics. New tunes for the playlist.
Guilt about fear. "Protecting my peace." Leonard Cohen? More FEAR.
The Brat Pack meets The Four Agreements. Eve Babitz. Dreamy tunes and a ripping poem.
More amends issues. The Prophet. Hard poems and good tunes.
Dementia
+4
Notes on a birthday. Poems. Tunes.
Sober parenting
On annual physicals and my decaying body. Stephen Dunn, my hero. Pema and the Tao Te Ching. New gig at Slate!
Relapse
On personal safety and therapy. James Tate. Spiritual verses to help you make it through.
Depression
How to combat my worst fears.
More of The Past. A poem by Thomas Lux. Pema! The Far Side. Japanese proverbs. Other cool stuff.
+7
Self-inventory means self-hate. A poem by Russel Edson. Groovy quotes from the Tao Te Ching and Thich Nhat Hanh. A stunning story about being a mother with an unhoused son.
AA Sponsorship
+8
How to meditate through the coughing. Thoughts on yelling. A poem by Nick Flynn. James Baraz. Essay by Amie Barrodale.
+11
Shitting all over the First Agreement. Superman and the Joker. Pema. George Bilgere.
Grief redux. Adult Children. Nick Cave. Really Good Search Engine. Frank O'Hara.
How to stop being afraid all the damn time.
+6
Afraid of everything.
