Every August I try to do an updated version of the 8th Step — “made a list of those we had harmed and were willing to make amends to them all” — since in ten years I have learned that each year a new person is added or subtracted. Some years the guilt is oppressive, and I feel the urge to make my list several pages long, to keep all the joyful parts of my life intact. The list this year is smaller, but it includes several people I’ve sidestepped and some who need a thorough reconsideration.

But self-forgiveness doesn’t get any easier, and tends to lack an easy, actionable process to do each morning outside of the usual prayers and promises to be better. One helpful exercise I’ve done in the past: write an amends letter to myself. I mostly do it as a reminder that I’m no longer the person I used to be and that I won’t be the person I am today forever, either; growth continues. But self-forgiveness doesn’t get any easier, and tends to lack an easy, actionable

Behind the paywall, you’ll find that letter, which is always embarrassing to write, but a nice practice to keep up since it’s one of the only times per year I’m nice to myself.

Come read that — cringe, if you must even — plus gain access to the usual weekend rundown of recovery recommendations,a new podcast with Kathryn Jezer-Morton, and some other members-only stuff.

If you can’t afford a membership right now, let me know, and I’ll hook you up. But if you’ve got the means, please buy one so I can give some more away. Thanks. See you down there.