I grew up in a mostly middle-class part of the Philadelphia suburbs where many people in my life—we’re talking parents, teachers, friends—were convinced that having an ambitious idea to do something fulfilling and exciting as a career was not as important as it was to have a back-up plan when those big ideas inevitably failed. 

For example, when I first graduated from college, I wanted to do something either in music production or writing, but neither of those would pay me enough to move out of my parents’ house, so they suggested I get a master’s degree so that I could make a decent living, perhaps teaching English somewhere fancy, even though I was a mediocre, borderline terrible English student. But my parents, like many millions of other well-meaning parents, assumed financial security would become The Thing I’d be unwilling to give up, that I’d forget all about what they called pipe dreams.

I’ve received some bad advice and wisdom from my parents, but that whole “back-up plan” notion really did a number on me. Years and years of torment that could have been avoided had I simply committed to a life without the expectation of security.

At some point, though, I gave up on the idea of a steady job and instead opted to make money doing what some may call art. But building a small, five-figure art career comes with many thrilling and demoralizing setbacks. Those failures come in many forms—being passed over for magazine jobs, book deals, cool parties, two-bedroom apartments, prospective romantic partners, etc. 

During my decades as a brazenly not-so-sober person, these rejections would sink me. I’d have to spend many hours and days drunk on self-pity (and booze) in order to fully process why so many people did not choose me to continue on to the next round. 

But after decades of those outcomes, I have finally discovered that those thrilling, demoralizing setbacks are, in fact, the actual job. Setbacks are the security. 

All this build-up is to announce this: The Small Bow podcast has not been renewed for another season and will be on the shelf indefinitely. 

I had a wonderful time doing it this past year in a professional studio, and I'm grateful to AND media for the financing and to Rabbit Grin for the stellar production. 

And after the jump, I’ll share why I feel so unquestionably okay about it.