The Small Bow Podcast Comes Alive
Plus the usual rundown: Philip Larkin. Thomas Merton. Thich Nhat Hanh.
Today’s newsletter is free for everyone.
After 50-something episodes of The Small Bow podcast (née Really Good Shares), I was sure I preferred interviewing our guests remotely, either through Riverside or some other Zoom-like podcast recording program, where I can sit in my dimly lit closet, talking to fascinating people about their recovery stories without having to ever worry about my personal hygiene offending people. I don’t need these interviews to be on camera, and the show works perfectly fine without them. So why mess with it?
But podcasts are rapidly becoming a visual medium, and at first I resisted this. Most of my favorite podcasters won’t do an on-camera version of their shows because—and this was my concern—the entire dynamic would change. I would worry more about what the show looked like than how it sounded, and if I entered into the talking-to-people-on-camera business, wouldn’t I become more of a talk show host than a podcaster? As far as I know, talk show hosts need to shower before they appear on air.
Although I’d heard from one or two other podcasters who are incredibly successful at what they do that if I ever get the opportunity to do an in-person podcast interview, I should absolutely do it. A couple of weeks ago, I did just that. I flew out to New York to interview Trey Anastasio of Phish.
We spoke for almost two hours in person, sitting across from each other at a table, much like the one where people play board games or eat dinner every night. Except this table had two expensive microphones and also had a person in the studio pointing cameras at our faces to record the entire conversation.
And, man, this was a major, high-level recovery conversation. We talked about his arrest, his life-changing drug court sentencing, me fucking up the Hulk Hogan trial, professional resentments, my nephew’s heroin problem, and how Trey blew up his band and his life due to his own heroin problem. We also talked about how some of those dark and miserable moments led to him: co-founding the Divided Sky treatment center in Ludlow, Vermont, with—get this—his caseworker from drug court, Melanie Gulde.
We kept going, and talked about my mother, his mother, his upcoming Beacon run, AA, death, Amanda Petrusich, the upcoming New Year’s prank, unheralded grace—it was intense. By the end of the conversation, we hugged like two people who’d been through something personal together, two people who expected a turbulent flight but ended up floating somewhere strange and beautiful.
On Thursday, you’ll be able to listen to my full interview with Trey wherever you listen to our podcast. You’ll be able to watch the whole thing when it hits The Small Bow’s new YouTube channel, which you should subscribe to immediately.
After this episode is dropped, we’ll take a small break but will be back in 2026 with a whole new operation.
We’re partnering with Rabbit Grin studio here in LA. We will pump out new episodes of the show every week with me talking to other guests at a table about all the things we usually talk about on The Small Bow podcast: you know, love, sex, drugs, food, debt, inadequacy, grief, loneliness, depression—all the things! I’m so excited to get to do most of these podcasts in person now, riding the spooky human frequencies created when two people discuss heavy, life-changing shit at a table.
On top of that, we’re launching a new website NOT on Substack in the next couple of weeks. We want to build the Small Bow its own special corner of the internet.
In the near term, you might not notice much difference—we’ll still send out free email newsletters on Tuesdays and Fridays, and a newsletter on Sundays for paid subscribers. But in the coming months, the new TSB will provide us greater flexibility in design, editorial, and added features. It’s all exciting and crazy, and I’m glad you’ll get to see it all magically, clumsily unfold.
Progress, not perfection. — AJD
Thanks again. If you need a meeting today, we have one happening at 1 p.m. PT/4 p.m. ET. Swing through after brunch.
Alright, let’s log.
DAILY READINGS
“If you want a life of prayer, the way to get it is by praying. If you’ve never had any distractions, you don’t know how to pray.”
“A life that is without problems may literally be more hopeless than one that always verges on despair.”
“The tranquility of the clouds will remain when the airplane has fallen apart.”
ALSO THIS WEEK: Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
“Please do not believe love is not in you. It’s not true; it’s always in you.”
“If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love someone else; if you cannot accept yourself, if you cannot treat yourself with kindness, you cannot do this for another person.”
“A real love letter is made of insight, understanding, and compassion. Otherwise, it is not a love letter. A true love letter can produce a transformation in the other person, and therefore in the world.”
FAVORITE POET: Philip Larkin
Just thought about compassion this week.
The Mower
by Philip Larkin
*****
The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found
A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,
Killed. It had been in the long grass.
I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.
Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world
Unmendably. Burial was no help:
Next morning I got up and it did not.
The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful
Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time.
—via Poetry Foundation
DAILY JOURNALS
-Notable Fears this week:
IMPOTENT RAGE TORNADOS: An inability to not get sucked into revenge fantasies about beating up dumb magazine editors.
GRATITUDE LIST:
* Ivey’s basketball game and assembly performance.
* Catch up with Jon T.
* Long talk with my sister.
* Back to playing wiffle ball with Ozzy.
* Back on the mats.
* Progress on the book(s).
* Walking through Christmas-ready Larchmont in the rain.
* Finally getting back to physical strength.
* Reading to Levon as he falls asleep on my chest.
* All the TSB advisors and angels.
* Tom C.
MEDITATION PRACTICE:
NUMBER OF SESSIONS: 8
LONGEST SIT: 10 minutes
THERAPY SESSIONS: ONE
RECOVERY STEP WORK SESSIONS: ONE
OUTREACH CALLS: SIX
MEETINGS: ONE
SERVICE: LITERATURE COMMITMENT MEN’S MEETING
EXERCISE: BJJ x1.
TOTAL SOBRIETY RATING FOR THE WEEK: 3/5
IMPROVEMENTS NEEDED: LESS CATASTROPHES!
ALL ILLUSTRATIONS BY EDITH ZIMMERMAN
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