“I love you and you’re making a shit mess of the end of your life . . .”
I would say about a dozen times per year, we get check-ins from middle-aged kids struggling to care for their elderly parents. What makes the caring more complicated is that some of those parents were abusive, addicts, or, at the very least, difficult. We’re supposed to use these new tools to deal with it, but, come on, now, who has time for boundaries and self-care when your mother is falling down in the kitchen thousands of miles away and not asking for the help that she needs?
As I mentioned last week, I’m kind of in it with my mom right now — or about to be in it, who knows?
That’s part of the frustration. I don’t even know what tool to grab off the wallboard because I’m dragging around our baggage, yet I’m too stubborn to let go of it, consumed by some bitterness and bile over stuff that is hardly relevant right now. I should be there as best I can, but also knowing that it will not be convenient or pleasant. And who’s the right person for this job? I brought Peaceful John into the podcast, and he threw some hardcore program at my mom’s problem: how to say “I love you and you’re making a shit mess of the end of your life,” without causing more pain for both of us.
I think we need some more insight — that’s why I’m asking you for this month’s “What It’s Like . . .” prompt. What has caring for your aging parents felt like for you so far? Has it impacted your recovery? What sort of horrible thoughts and feelings have surfaced?
350 words max. All published entries get a comp subscription for three months.
If you send a VOICE NOTE, for a future episode with Peaceful John on the pod, you get SIX months.
EMAIL YOURS HERE: [email protected]
SUBJECT: ADULT CHILDREN
Full episode with Peaceful John is below! Please subscribe to our YouTube channel. We’re close to 1,000 subscribers and I think we win a prize if we get there by next week. I’ll split it with you.
OTHER PROMPTS YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED
Remember July check-ins are due so if you want to email us your general updates on your recovery you can also do that at the main line as well: [email protected] SUBJECT: JULY CHECK-INS
If you’re interested in participating in the upcoming “Small Bow Meeeting episode” on an upcoming podcast, all that information is here. We’ve got nine so far — and a possible speaker. Could be cool, so let me know your thoughts.
Monday: | 5:30 p.m. PT / 8:30 ET |
Tuesday: | 10 a.m. PT / 1 p.m. ET |
Wednesday: | 10 a.m. PT / 1 p.m. ET |
Thursday: | 10 a.m. PT / 1 p.m. ET (Women and non-binary meeting.) |
Friday: | 10 a.m. PT / 1 p.m. ET |
Saturday: | 9:30 a.m. PT / 12:30 p.m. ET Mental Health Focus (Peer support for bipolar/anxiety/depression) |
Sunday: | 1:00 p.m PT / 4 p.m. ET (Mental Health and Sobriety Support Group.) |
If you don't feel comfortable calling yourself an “alcoholic,” that’s fine. If you have issues with sex, food, drugs, codependency, love, loneliness, and/or depression, come on in. Newcomers are especially welcome.
Format: crosstalk, topic meeting
We’re there for an hour, sometimes more. We'd love to have you.
Meeting ID: 874 2568 6609
Password To ZOOM: nickfoles
Need more info?: [email protected]